Straight guy in a gay bar
Greggor Mattson
“Man, have you been in there yet?,” asked the clean-shaven bro in polo shirt and Oakley sunglasses. “Not yet,” I replied from my perch outside Splash Bar Florida, where I’d been interviewing Tony Boswell, the owner, for the past hour as part of the Who Needs Gay Lock Tour?
“Man, you gotta proceed in there, this place is the best moment in Panama City!”
—“What’s so good about it?”
“The vibe, the atmosphere. Everyone is here just to have fun, human. There’s no assholes bumping into you who consider they’re better than everybody else. Here everyone is just here to hold a good time.”
—“Sounds nice.”
“It is! Everyone thinks so, too. Everywhere we’ve been, people explain us to finish our night here. You can go to other places for fun, but when you really want to have a good period you come to Splash.”
This was the third period in the last two weeks that a clean-cut, muscular straight guy had approached me in a gay bar. Straight people in gay bars hold sometimes been flagged as a problem. Bachelorette parties can still be problematic in big-city gay bars, but were more so before same-sex marriage was legal. Sometimes big-city gay clubs become so popular with straight couple
So a Straight Guy Walks into a Gay Bar…
Featured in the May issue of 247PRINT
Article by Jason Perry, southcoast247.com correspondent | Standard-Times
Straight guy in a homosexual bar. Far from an original article idea, but with southcoast247.com focusing the May 2008 issue issue towards a Gay, Lesbian, Bi and Transgender (GLBT) readership, the staff figured it could be a entertainment personal experience story about a heterosexual debunking gay exclude stereotypes first-hand.
I decided to pick up the assignment. After all, I’d never been to a gay bar and I don’t brain shaking up my comfort zone by putting myself in unfamiliar social settings.
I’ve heard every queer bar stereotype imaginable. Gay bar DJs play nothing but Cher songs. Bartenders serve Cosmopolitans by the diamond-studded truckload to dudes wearing rainbow colored sailor suits. Women sporting mesh trucker hats display no inhibitions as they swap spit in the unisex bathroom. And if any direct man or lady walks into a gay bar, they’re immediately caught in a swarm of homosexual energy that’ll turn them male lover on the notice. Have I ever taken those stereotypes seriously? No. But I’d be lying if I said I knew exactly
What a difference a gay guy can make.
Surely I wouldn't be the gay man I am today had it not been for the one who made coming out in New York City a little easier for me. He was the bartender who used to splash my Stoli with Canada Dry tonic water in the back block at Limelight. I was the new kid in town, timid, friendless and still peeking through a crack in the closet door to see how things were on the outside. Every Friday night, I'd leave the Jersey City, New Jersey, brownstone I shared with my three roommates without telling them where I was going. Gay evening at Limelight was my messy little secret.
The first few times I went, nobody spoke to me except for Frederick. He was boyishly handsome and shirtless, with a six-pack and a smirk of a smile that made my knees buckle, and for some reason, he took an immediate liking to me. Night after Friday night, he'd ask about my week, produce jokes with me during lulls in the bar rush, and never charge me for my vodka buzz. He asked for nothing in return. He had a boyfriend, and as far as I knew, he was just being nice. He helped make me feel comfortable in gay nightlife and, eventually by extension, being gay in everyday life.
What straight people demand to know about going to same-sex attracted bars
As a lgbtq+ person, knowing my straight friends desire to come to LGBTQ+ bars and spaces fills my heart with happiness. I appreciate the accepting atmosphere that these spaces make, and I affection that my friends want to demonstrate their support of me and my community so openly in them.
I came out just before starting university, having made marvelous (and very straight) friends during my time at college. I was worried they would deal with me differently after I came out, or be freaked out thinking I either hated men or fancied one of them. Luckily, neither one of those age-old stereotypes came true, and actually I didn’t give them enough credit. It turned out most of them knew I was gay elongated before I did.
But recently, when I took a group of them to Soho in London for a night out, I realised even the most well-intentioned, supportive straight/cis friends can miss the trail entirely. One of my male friends came back from the bar carrying drinks and a phone number, written on a napkin. He loudly demanded to know why the bartender had thought he’d be interested because after all, he didn’t "look gay". Sigh.
"They'd made me